& then I broke my hand…

I have had such a good few months. I levelled up successfully to 23 years on Earth, started my internship, managed to get along well at my part-time fundraising job, finalised my dissertation title and topic, attended the London Book Fair, gave the last of my presentations and started to work on my last 3 essay assignments.

And then I broke my hand. (23 years of my life gone without serious injury, until Friday 15th April 2016)

My left ring finger to be exact. A spiral fracture. I actually can’t use my pinkie finger because the two are taped together, and every time I try to use my middle finger in any way- I hiss like a cat being lowered into a flea bath (it hurts like hell). Oh, and my injury is now in a plaster cast so I have a greying Zoidburg claw instead of a left hand.

Do you know how hard it is to type with literally seven fingers? I never realised how much I used leftie so much, until it was gone from me. Washing my hair by myself is no longer possible (I guilt my mum into helping me), I have to wear a strange rubber thing over the plaster so as not to get it wet and ruin my body’s attempt of healing.

Exam and deadline season have been a right mess to deal with.

Yesterday was the date of my (only, and hopefully last) exam. Normally I would be excited at the prospect of enjoying summer evenings in the park, sipping on cider in between job applications . Now?

I just can’t wait to wash and moisturise my hand when the cast comes off…

To be able to type at full speed again because I have a dissertation coming up…

To take off the nail polish on the fingers obscured by plaster and bandages.

When it rains, it pours.

When I was little and we used to visit my parents’ family “back home” there were two things I loved the most about the weather.

  1. Summer in England is Rainy Season in Trinidad & Tobago.
  2. The rain is warm and hard, but not often.

It’s Rainy Season in my life.

I’m in the second term of my MA Publishing course now. I feel like the time has gone too quickly, I am learning so much and I have learned so much. I’m actually making progress on  surrounding myself with like-minded people and I have an understanding of the industry that the person I was a year ago was only vaguely aware of.

As January came to a close and I realised that I was already halfway through February, (oh, not to mention that Easter is early this year which means I have a lot of March off) I finish classes around April. I feel like I’ve taken the International Baccalaureate all over again, instead my five terms have been halved.

I’m getting the chance to help bring a short story anthology into print. I’m coming up with and practising a pitch for a hypothetical mobile app that I think could increase the number of readers-for-pleasure in those aged twenty-five and under. I’m still looking for that placement, and I’ve yet to be discouraged or focused on putting all of my eggs in any one basket. And finally, I’m coming up with the bare bones of what I think could be a study on Fantasy fiction for my dissertation.

It is a lot to handle- and yet I am doing it?

For a while I was feeling overwhelmed. I think I don’t often let myself go through the short panic, I used to let it consume me for at least a month before the pressure got to great and I perfected my fail or fly baby bird imitation.

Before when I was going through these situations in life, it felt like I was taking an ice-shower in Hoth- too cold to do anything other than stay in place and wait for it to pass by so I could finally make a chance to move on. Now, it feels a lot more like the hot rains back home, lying in the conservatory alcove opposite the stone mermaid and under a galvanised roof and listening to the raindrops pound against it. I have red stained lips on account of all the salted prunes I’ve been eating and the bottles of Chubby Reggae Red I’ve been drinking. The mosquitoes aren’t biting my legs and the dog is hiding from the rain with me. A book is lying across my lap and every now and then the wind changes direction and I get a little rain sprayed in my face- but it isn’t enough to drench me.

And I am fine.